Does your child struggle with falling asleep? You're not alone.

If you're exhausted from nightly bedtime battles, lying next to your little one for hours, or dealing with tears and "I can't sleep" protests, this post is for you.

Your child's sleep struggles don't have to be permanent. With the right mindset approach, you can transform bedtime from a nightly nightmare into a peaceful routine.

Why your child's beliefs about sleep really matter.

Here's something that might surprise you, when children believe they're "bad sleepers," it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. They're anxious before bed even starts, which makes falling asleep even harder.

We all know how important sleep is for children, but sometimes, sleep can be a tricky thing to master. If your child finds sleeping difficult, it’s easy for them to think they’ll never get better at it. That’s where a growth mindset comes in.

A growth mindset is the belief that with effort, practice, and persistence, they can improve.

Studies show that when parents demonstrate and promote a growth mindset, it can significantly reduce anxiety in children. It helps them understand that challenges are opportunities for growth, not roadblocks. If we apply this to sleep, we can help children see that getting better at sleep is something they can do with practice.

What is a growth mindset for sleep?

Instead of thinking "I'm just bad at sleeping," a growth mindset for sleep means understanding that sleeping is a skill that improves with practice. Just like learning to ride a bike or tie their shoelaces, getting better at sleep takes time, patience, and the right strategies.

"My child says they'll NEVER sleep well"

This is heartbreaking to hear from your little one. When your child has developed negative self-talk around bedtime, it creates a cycle of anxiety and sleeplessness.

What you can do.

Change the language around sleep struggles in your home.

1. Transform your sleep talk (and theirs)

The words we use matter enormously.

Here's how to reframe common sleep struggles:

Instead of: "You always have trouble falling asleep"
Try: "You're finding sleeping tricky right now, so we're going to try something a little different tonight."

Instead of: "Why can't you just go to sleep?"
Try: "Remember, every time we practice our bedtime routine, you're getting a little closer to sleeping better."

Instead of: "You're such a bad sleeper"
Try: "You're still learning how to sleep well, and that's okay. We're working on it together."

These small language shifts are powerful tools for reducing bedtime anxiety and building confidence.

I hear this sentence often on my free discovery calls, "We've tried everything and nothing works"

When you've been struggling with your child's sleep problems for months (or even years), it's easy to feel defeated.

I want to let you know, improvement happens gradually, and every small step counts.

2. Focus on progress, Not perfection.

Emphasise the power of practice:

• "When you keep practicing your bedtime routine, you'll get even better at falling asleep"

• "Last week it took 45 minutes to fall asleep, tonight it was only 30,that's amazing progress"

• "Your body is learning what to do at bedtime"

Help your child see that each night is practice, and practice leads to improvement. This takes the pressure off having "perfect" sleep every single night.

Another common sentence I hear is, "My child genuinely doesn't believe they can sleep"

This is where things get really tough. When your child has convinced themselves they physically can't sleep, no amount of telling them otherwise seems to help.

3. Show them the proof they need.

Here's a brilliant, evidence-based strategy that works wonders.

Take a photo of your child sleeping peacefully. Then, when they're awake and struggling with sleep anxiety, show them the picture.

Why is this so effective?

Because sometimes children need visual proof that they CAN sleep well. It's hard to argue with photographic evidence. This simple act can create a powerful mindset shift and reduce sleep-related anxiety.

What you can say -"Look. This is you sleeping beautifully. You DID it. Your body knows how to sleep, we just need to help it remember more consistently."

If you have found the nightly struggle is real and bedtime is exhausting most nights, its time to change the narrative and create a calming routine that works.

Let's rewrite your family's sleep story.

Your child's current sleep struggles don't define their future as a sleeper. Use positive, forward-looking language.

• "You were asleep and doing great last night"

• "You can do this. We just need to practice together"

• "Tonight might be tricky, but tomorrow night will be easier"

• "You're getting better at this every day"

The missing piece- A consistent bedtime routine.

Promoting a growth mindset around sleep works best when paired with a consistent, calming bedtime routine.

A predictable routine signals to your child's body that it's time to wind down.

It reduces bedtime anxiety, eliminates battles over "one more story," and creates a sense of security that makes falling asleep easier.

Ready to Transform Bedtime?

CHECK OUT my video here. "Let's Get More Sleep and Less Battles at Bedtime" where I walk you through creating a consistent bedtime routine that actually works for busy families. ( I have recently added another PDF to help called 6 core needs relating to sleep challenges and how you can help your child.)

Small changes tonight, can mean better sleep soon.

By combining a growth mindset approach with a consistent bedtime routine, you're giving your child two powerful tools.

1. The belief that they CAN sleep well (and it will get easier with practice)

2. A predictable, calming routine that prepares their body and mind for restful sleep

You don't have to do this perfectly. You just need to start. Choose one language shift tonight. Take that photo. Grab my video and watch it with your partner.

Small steps lead to big changes.

Let's start tonight- Your child's best sleep (and your peaceful evenings) are closer than you think.