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Wondering how to encourage your child to use the nursery/school toilets. Read this!!

Why children need help transitioning to school or nursery toilets.

With many parents preparing their children to start school or nursery in September, one element of this which can seem daunting is getting them to use the toilet. Whilst many children are potty trained, navigating the nursery or school toilets is a different thing altogether.
Many parents are also worried their child isn't school ready in other ways-such as social skills; communication; recognising their own name and understanding key things like 'no' and 'stop!'
But let's first of all take a look at why so many children need support when transitioning to use the toilet at school or nursery.

There can be many reasons why a child won't use a school toilet.

Working with children over many years, I have heard lots of different reasons.

🚽Being hurried
🚽No privacy
🚽Sensory overload-from smells/noises
🚽No locks on the doors or broken locks
🚽Broken toilet seats
🚽Broken flush and a toilet full of poo!! 
🚽A fear about stopping play and how they will return after. 
Will my friends stop playing with me?

Opening up a conversation with our little ones during play will help to understand what their thought process is.
Be a detective 🕵️‍♂️ AND find out what is going on for your child.

Pop the school an email about the toilets.

Don’t waste time -3 Steps to help your child.

Do you have a memory of using your school toilets ?
I do, toilet paper that was rough, no privacy, other children hearing me, and being overwhelmed by the awful smell.

Let's make a start by trying these simple steps.

1.   The toilet area could be decorated with signs made by the children, favourite TV characters they can call their toilet buddies.
2.  Think about joining your school’s PTA or if you know another mum who is keen, then have school toilets put on the agenda for each meeting. The more we shout about it the more people will listen. 
3.  Check out the school toilets, do your own little toilet audit. 
Is it a dumping ground? 
Are there lots of boxes and clutter stored in the bathroom area? 
This can be overstimulating for over sensitive children. 

Normally school toilets are never high on the list of a school's priority and the benefits are hugely undervalued. 
Send them an email of your findings.

Why do children find it hard to use the toilet at school or nursery?

Know that you are not alone with this!
Many parents have told me their child is anxious about using school toilets.

All children arrive at school at different stages of development. A recent report by PACEY found that the essential skills lacked by some children when starting school were:
  • being potty trained and able to use the toilet; 
  • being able to speak in sentences; 
  • being able to speak to an adult and tell them what they need;
  • being aware of other children 
  • and to be able to do practical things like take off their shoes.

As well as this, some children become reluctant to use school toilets as they feel anxiety around pooing or weeing in a different setting or don't feel comfortable asking a staff member.

Is your little one scared of the hand dryer?

Sometimes there are very practical reasons: I asked one mum if her child could reach the sink, and if they could reach the tap? Children are all different sizes and this was the one area that was causing this child stress as he had his little step to use at home.

Sometimes, children are fearful of certain aspects of the toilets-such as the loud sound of hand dryers.
This could be the case that more schools this year will be using hand dryers due to school budgets taking a huge hit. 

They may want to save on paper towels and help the environment.
New dryers are now more efficient, but this makes them very noisy for our children.

Preparing our children can help, as fear of the unknown can cause even more anxiety.

Finding out if your child's nursery/school has a hand dryer can be the first step.

Here's my top tip if they do have a hand dryer.

Give them something to occupy their mind , counting 1,2,3
Or singing a song out loud 🎵🎵

What number can they count to before the dryer stops?

Can they get to the end of the song before it stops?

This can reassure them as it tells their brain it will be coming to an end.

Bathroom facilities

Personally, I often feel the school bathroom facilities play a part here: we need to make them cleaner, less smelly and we need to make sure they have all the basic facilities, enough tissue, enough soap, paper towels, wastepaper bins. All essentials, but from experience of working in nurseries and schools, I know are often lacking!

I have heard from parents where their child has come home and stated that toilet seats and the floor were "covered in wee" or the toilet was broken or blocked.
Would you sit on a toilet in this state?
No?
Then why should it be acceptable for our little ones.

If this is the case, children can then start to avoid using the toilet, they start to withhold their poo and wee.
A child will then find it hard to concentrate on learning as they are spending their energy stopping their poo or wee coming!

What should I do if my child won't use a school or nursery toilet?

It's important to realise that just because your child can use the toilet at home or out and about, doesn't mean they can use it at school or nursery.

The first thing to do is to get to the bottom of why your child isn't using the toilet at school or nursery.
Speak to your child's teacher to see if they are struggling to communicate this or if there's an aspect that they seem to find particularly stressful. 

Some of these things can be solved with simple steps-like decorating the bathroom with hand-drawn signs to make it seem a bit more welcoming.
It may be as simple as not wanting to put their hand up to announce they want to go to the toilet.

Practise this at home through play.
I had one little boy I supported and we liaised with the class teacher so each child put their name in a post box if they wanted to use the toilet. It stopped the huge embarrassment this child felt and the other children enjoyed it too.

This is why I have created a Free E-guide as one of my freebies on my Super School Ready Course. 
Its full of information and tips on how you can encourage your child to use the school toilets.
Lots of golden nuggets I share with my 1-2-1 families and great advice that leads to success with happy children using the school or nursery toilets :) 

Click below if interested in joining my FREE starting school masterclass.

You will hear all about my live 2 week Starting school super ready course.

Super School Ready Course 2024

My course helps build the necessary skills that your child needs to flourish at school-all based on my 9 years’ experience working in school health, delivering health promotion sessions and running drop-in clinics for parents who needed extra support. 
As well as helping parents to get their child using a school toilet with confidence, it also covers...


  • Importance of Sleep and tips for helping your child relax at bedtime

  • Key personal skills needed for school.

  • Positive discipline and behaviour strategies.

  • Preparing for the school routine.

  • How to deal with bullying and building resilience in your child

  • Healthy breakfasts and lunches

  • How to be a super friend

  • Headlice facts and myths


  • And lots of activities for little ones to complete- such as scissor skills, fine motor, scavenger hunts, emotions games, big and small, More or less and on and under worksheets.


All helping your children become more confident and resilient; independent; great problem solvers and confident in making friends.


Your child will thank you for taking a big role in improving their school toilets. So will their bladders and bowels.

Children need to drink regularly throughout the school day.
They also need to empty their bladders and bowels frequently and fully when they feel the need to.
Not to withhold, a child who is spending their energy stopping their wee and poo from coming will not be able to concentrate on learning and having fun making friends.  
😀