Here it is below :)
I was the professional who knew everything about children. And then I couldn't understand my own.
When my eldest was small, I didn't know what each day would bring. I was drained, walking on eggshells, trying to hold everything together and consumed by guilt because I didn't have the time or energy I wanted to give to my second child. I felt completely at a loss. And so, I did what any parent does. I reached out for help.
The health system failed us.
Every session focused on the behaviour they could see on the outside. Nobody looked at what was happening inside. Nobody asked about her as a whole person. My eldest was highly spirited, strong willed, adventurous, full of energy, a risk-taker and a perfectionist with a logical, mathematical brain that processed the world in a way I didn't yet understand. She wasn't difficult. She was different. And nobody helped me see that.
I left those sessions feeling judged, unheard, and like a complete failure as a mum. The one thing I had longed to be.
If I'd known then what I know now, I would have worked with her temperament, not against it. I would have understood why she did what she did instead of reacting to what I saw on the surface. We would have had tools, real ones, for the big emotions, the hard days, the moments that felt impossible.
Our relationship would have looked very different. We would have been a team.
That experience is the reason Littlelifesteps exists. I never want another parent to sit where I sat, desperate for real answers, being handed generic advice that doesn't account for their unique child and walk away feeling more lost than when they arrived.
There's a second reason I do this.
I watched the system I'd given fourteen years to change beyond recognition.
Cutbacks. Privatisation. Baby massage classes only for a few who met the criteria. Baby weigh clinics replaced with self weigh in clinics which meant no face to face contact for parents who just needed someone to ask a question. Children waiting eighteen months for a speech therapy appointment after a two year check flagged a concern. Eighteen months. At two years old, that's half a lifetime.
I couldn't fix the system. But I could build something outside it that still put families first.
So that's what I did.
Working with children and families for over 41 years as a trained NNEB, in nurseries, and 14 of those within the NHS, working hands-on with families, delivering bowel and bladder health training, writing lesson plans for schools. is where my passion for all things toileting began and it's never left me.
What those 41 years have taught me is that sleep, behaviour, eating and toileting are never really separate problems. They're one connected picture. The child who won't sleep is often the same child struggling at mealtimes, resisting the potty, melting down before school. It's not four different issues. It's one child, carrying a lot. And I look at the whole child. Always.
I always open my workshops with the same sentence.
"Put your unique child in your head."
Because it's never one size fits all. Before we talk about the sleep or the behaviour or the potty training, I want to know about your child. Not the presenting problem. Your child. Their likes, their dislikes, the way they handle things when life gets hard. That's where the real work begins.
I want you to feel heard. I want you to understand your child in a way that changes everything, not just the behaviour you're struggling with right now, but the relationship you're building for life.
I want you to stop feeling judged, stop second guessing yourself at 3am, and find the confidence that's already in you.
I live and breathe this. I always have.
If any of this resonates, I'd love to hear from you.
Sue x