Ever find yourself stressed that your toddler keeps running away from you? Whether you're at the park, the shops or even in your living room-having a toddler that keeps running away from you can be a really stressful, anxiety-inducing experience. If you find yourself asking : 'why does my  toddler keeps running away from me-what can I do!' you're in the right place. As a parenting expert and founder of the Toddler Throwing Wobblers course, I am used to helping parents with this common problem.

Is it normal for my toddler to keep running away from me?

It is actually very common for children to want to run off from their parents, I promise. Toddlers have newfound independence and running is fun and they feel free. They have bounds of energy and need to release it.  They just don't see the danger we can see.
 

One of my common sayings is 

“it's not about managing their time it's about managing their energy”

Running is actually great for children, but parents need to have control on where they can run to ensure they are safe! Lots of us have an active toddler, it's all about channeling their energy into the right place.

How can I tell my toddler to stop running away from me?

The first thing you need to do is set boundaries with your children. The two messages to get across to your children are:

1 Where they can run.

2 Running is okay as long as it's in the right place.

Being consistent and reminding them about this is key!

My toddler keeps running away from me: my top tips.

Toddlers love to be helpful, so when out and about let them be your helper. Give them something to carry, tell them how you need their amazing help at the shops. Teach them how to look for items and how to put them in the trolley and on the checkout belt

If they run off, let them know "When we get home, we can play chase and hide and seek. Time to be my helper now"

My next tip is to get down to their level and give calm instructions.
Tell them the behaviour you want before you go shopping.
"I need you to be my helper today Freddie." Saying their name is powerful and helps the instruction sink in.

It's important to verbalise your expectations, for example:

“I need you to hold my hand, I will tell you when you can let go”

“You need to hold my hand in the car park”

As a parenting expert, I advise not using phrases like 'big girl or big boy' as these can back fire-children will say “I don't want to be a big girl I want to run.”

I use clever girl or clever boy.

“What a clever girl for using your listening ears”

“You should feel very proud you listened well when mummy called you to stop”

 Children need time to process the information. Work out a script that you use with your child.

When talking to children do not ask a question. “Can you?” your child will be saying no in their head.

If your child wants to run in the wrong place. Remain calm and confident, you are the leader, and say things like

“Mummy’s not OK with this right now. I know you want to run. We can jump together to get that energy out”
  Some children are visual learners so you could give them a little animal to hold

A snail = slow and walking feet.

A leopard= fast and running feet.

Children will love to follow the instruction for each animal.

How to practice safe running and stopping skills at home.

“When you have the snail what do we do?”

“When you have the leopard what do we do?”

The best way to handle this is to do some preventative work at home or in the garden. A safe space to be able to run.

Play stopping games at home, such as Red light, green light, or listening games.

I share lots of listening games on my 4-week behaviour course..

How to set boundaries with your toddler about running off.

Parents often say to me that they give lots of warnings to their toddlers when they run off. Warnings don't work with toddlers. One is enough.
If they continue...

" Freddie if you choose to not use your walking feet in the supermarket. Mummy will put you in the trolley. It's your choice."

If they listen add on " Good choice Freddie. Walking with mummy. Clever boy"
If he doesn't, put in a trolley and name his emotion if he screams. 

" I know you are angry as you want to run around the supermarket. We use walking feet in the supermarket. You chose to run so Freddie will stay in the trolley for 5 minutes"

After 5 minutes say " Freddie would you like to come out of the trolley and use your walking feet in the supermarket. I know you can do it"
You are giving him the opportunity to show you he can do it.
You want to build up trust with your child.

If your child does run off, it's very hard to not run after them, if you do, they always run faster.
Their little brains think
 “oo what a great game, mummy is now running after me.”

You could  try playing  “catch me if you can”

This is where you turn and go the other way and say,

“I bet you can't catch mummy.”

They will often turn and run towards you. Let them catch you up, then turn and give them a squeeze.

Just make sure it is safe to do so.

The time to discuss running off is later at home and during play is ideal as a child will be more likely to listen.

I have an ideal book recommendation called "Little Rabbit lost"
 
It's Little Rabbit's birthday and, as a treat, the whole family goes to the Rabbit world Theme Park. Little Rabbit thinks he's so grown-up that he doesn't need to stay with his Mummy. However, he soon realises that he is just a little rabbit after all and does need looking after.
You can find the book under my behaviour recommendations page.
Books are great for teaching lessons and gentle encouragement.