In a recent exchange with a mum, she shared her dinner table dilemma.
"My child just wont listen when I tell him to stop standing up at the dinner table. ARRGH!!! Its so frustrating and makes dinner times stressful."
"He looks straight at me , and laughs.
I know I shouldn't get triggered but it makes my blood boil and I get annoyed and it ends in a big meltdown and dinner is ruined.
I then don't feel hungry."
Her child not only defied her requests to sit but added insult to injury by meeting her pleas with a mischievous laugh.
Cue the blood boiling, annoyance escalating, and the evening ending in a chaotic meltdown.
The aftermath? A ruined dinner and a sudden loss of appetite.
( increased adrenaline= lose of appetite)
Mum had prepared that delicious dinner, set the table and was ready for some quality time and a quick sit.
( feeling tired at the end of the day)
However, her child had others ideas.
But here's a game-changer below.
It's amazing how a small tweak in our communication can make a big difference.
"Say what you want , not want you don't want."
So instead of saying "Stop standing up " Or "Don't do that"
which can trigger a child to think more about what they're not supposed to do instead of thinking about positive things.
I suggested to mum -try saying,
"show me how you sit your bum on the chair."
"1,2,3 down we go. Weeeeee"
Children love a bit of humour.
I also suggested its important mum takes a deep breath and keeps it simple ( we often talk too much and overload our children's brains) We want to avoid the temptation to get entangled in a power struggle.
Be upbeat, positive, straightforward, and move on swiftly.
By setting clear expectations without diving into a battle of wills, you pave the way for smoother interactions.
She now just needs to use it often so it becomes a habit.
You can quickly see a difference in how cooperative your child is, if you use it consistently.
It can also be used in lots of other scenarios. We just choose a safe option for them.
"Say the behaviour you want"
It’s a powerful tool.
We want to give our time and energy to the desired behaviours.
Check out my other tip video to help a child with transitions.
Check out my PDF full of fantastic ideas and strategies that have helped lots of families.
"Highchair Harmony. Tackling Toddler Mealtimes."
Or, if you're eager for science-backed tips and deeper insights into understanding and guiding your child's behaviour positively, explore my
"Decoding A Child's Behaviour For A Calmer Home" 4-week recorded behaviour course full of resources.
Transform those tough moments into chances for extra fun at home.
Remember, small changes can lead to significant transformations.
Here's to happier family dinners and a calmer home!
Cheers to easy wins.